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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27761290">love is only love; and it’s wonderful enough</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/itenixol/pseuds/itenixol'>itenixol</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(No graphic descriptions though), Beta Read, Crying at One Point, Fluff, Gentlemen Talk, Holding Hands, Hugging, Its Okay Though They’re Happy, Lots of different emotions, M/M, Scars, Stimming, They Are Not Neurotypical, They Hug a Lot, mentions of insects, or cis, or straight, spoiler free</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:01:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,653</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27761290</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/itenixol/pseuds/itenixol</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Shuichi wants to gift something to Gonta.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Gokuhara Gonta/Saihara Shuichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>love is only love; and it’s wonderful enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello!!! some quick things i wanna tell you guys before you start;</p>
<p>- in certain parts of this, gonta starts stimming. i wrote in that he stims by growling or moving his hand in time with his heart beat (like pounding on his chest gently). i don’t want anybody to get confused</p>
<p>- there’s no spoilers in this, but it takes place in chapter 4</p>
<p>and that’s it! i hope you enjoy this :D</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Five days after the third trial, the rest of the students were determined to stop the killings. Supper was a major success; they had made friendly conversation while eating the dish that Maki had made. She had surprised them with her knowledge of cooking, and Himiko was forced to set the table for everybody. It was a meal that made everybody feel closer together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After having to deal with Miu’s vulgar comments and Kokichi leaving way too early, they all cleaned up their plates and eventually wandered off either by themselves or with somebody else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kaito left with Maki (who looked incredibly annoyed) and Himiko decided to leave with Tsumugi. The two of them weren’t that close, so it was strange to see them leave together to hang out. Shuichi figured it may have been because the mage felt lonely.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The detective strolled back to his dorm and, upon entering, immediately froze in place. He felt like something was off but he didn’t know exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>what</span>
  </em>
  <span> was off. Had he forgotten something? Or maybe just had an upset stomach? Shuichi searched his pockets frantically to make sure he still had his Mono-pad and sighed in relief. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then he realized what felt off. In his pockets, a ladybug brooch lay untouched. He had forgotten to give it to Gonta in the cafeteria!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah!” he startled himself, pulling out the brooch and swiftly leaving his dorm, locking it behind him before jogging up the stairs of the dorms. Gonta’s room was just above his own, so he rang the doorbell once and waited for an answer. There was none.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rang it again. “Gonta?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The same results. The dark-haired boy lowered his shoulders and speed walked downstairs and out the dorms. Gonta must still be in the school if he wasn’t in his dorm. The garden was also a possibility, but it was too dark out to be in there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Earlier, in the casino, he had managed to trade a few of his Mono-coins for a ladybug brooch. He figured that the entomologist would like it and planned to give it to him at supper but then completely forgot. He guessed that he was overwhelmed with how much his mood raised.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi pulled open the large doors and jogged towards Gonta’s lab on the second floor, not even feeling exhausted until he started climbing up the second flight of stairs. The training he had done with Kaito and Maki must’ve paid off!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>He smiled to himself, still panting, as he quickly rounded the corner and placed his hands on his knees to catch his breath. He hoped that Gonta was in his lab—if he wasn’t, then that would mean he could be anywhere. Shuichi stood up and let out one final sigh before knocking on the tall doors.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once. No answer. Twice. No answer. The detective debated knocking a third time but he couldn’t, his fist stilled as something in the back of his mind told him that Gonta was in danger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Gonta is fine</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Shuichi assured himself. Supper had ended only ten minutes ago! No way was anybody dead, especially after they all swore not to kill anybody.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kokichi was excluded, though…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anxiety built up in the boy’s stomach. He felt lightheaded as he began to think of places Gonta would be. You’d think it’d be easy to find him, considering how tall and muscular he was, but it was actually the opposite. Shuichi hummed in thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t be in the garden and he’s not in his room or lab… he probably left the cafeteria so he isn’t in there, either, and there’d be no reason for him to go to the gym so that’s also crossed out. </span>
  <em>
    <span>That still leaves a lot of rooms</span>
  </em>
  <span>… Shuichi mentally told himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He should check the library. Gonta liked reading, even if he occasionally needed help pronouncing certain words correctly. It never bothered Shuichi when Gonta would ask him, however, if anything he felt glad he could help the other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>On his way to the library, he checked the classrooms, restrooms and even asked Miu if she’d seen him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, he helped Maki gather the plates and said he’d wash them after everybody left,” she commented. Shuichi paled. “After that, though, I went to the bathroom, so I got no idea where he could be.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That implied that he was alone. Saihara nodded slowly and tried to push down his fear. “Thank you, Miu.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Each step he took down the basement stairs felt like one more step towards an unavoidable truth; like the second he opened the library doors, he’d see something similar to what he saw the first time he entered. His heart sped up at the thought and he continued to try and reassure himself that things were fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi stood in front of the library and, with trembling fingers, pressed open the door cautiously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Inside sat nobody. Shuichi breathed a heavy sigh of relief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He closed the door and glanced to the side, seeing the Game Room from where he stood. He supposed he could check there.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If the entomologist wasn’t in the game room, Shuichi would really start fearing the worst. He twisted the doorknob and entered, though disappointment quickly glazed over his features at the sight of nobody. Just as he was about to shut the door, he suddenly remembered the A/V room and walked up to the door with way too much determination.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He peeked inside the little glass frame on the door and saw that all the lights were off. However, the television was on and it was playing some sort of documentary about insects. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi could make out Gonta’s silhouette and tried to open the door only to notice it was locked. He bit his lip and debated if he should interrupt the taller boy because, really, all he needed to do with him was give him the ladybug brooch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But it was more than that. He knew deep down inside that he wanted to be closer to Gonta, both in a friendly, caring sort of way and in a physical way. These feelings he felt weren’t anything new since they were similar to what he felt for Kaede...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What is he talking about?! He should leave Gonta alone, he’d give him the brooch tomorrow morning and—</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The door in front of him suddenly opened with a </span>
  <em>
    <span>click! </span>
  </em>
  <span>and he was greeted by none other than the boy he was just thinking of. With a surprised yelp, Shuichi stumbled backwards. A heavy blush came across his face to show his embarrassment but Gonta didn’t seem to notice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello Shuichi!” he greeted cheerfully. “Gonta sorry for scaring you,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shorter of the two laughed nervously and shook his head. “A-ah, no, it’s alright, really!” he assured him. Gonta smiled and moved from the door, showing the inside. The only light source in the room came from the television.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does Shuichi wanna watch bug movie?” Gonta tilted his head, and Shuichi felt his pulse startup again. He was </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>glad to have found the entomologist, so he felt a lot more at ease. He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded, “Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gokuhara placed his right hand on his chest and extended his other arm out towards the A/V room, bowing down as the detective walked inside. Shuichi curiously watched as Gonta came in after him and closed the door.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What was that?” he asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is something gentlemen do!” the green-haired boy answered, his voice showing clear signs that he was happy. “That was first time Gonta do such a thing, so he very proud of himself!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A grin found its way onto Shuichi’s face. “You were very good at it!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even with just the movie’s dim light projecting onto Gonta’s face, Shuichi could tell the other was blushing. His index finger came up to scratch at his cheek—a nervous habit Shuichi had come to notice from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you…” he mumbled. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Saihara let out a short chuckle before walking over and sitting down on the couch, gazing up at the documentary playing and cringing a little as a spider was shown. Gonta sat down next to him and looked up at the film too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shorter boy looked away from the television and instead at Gonta, though he did it subtly, making it seem like he still was watching the movie. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Don’t get Shuichi wrong; he wasn’t as afraid of bugs as he used to be. Yes, the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Insect Meet and Greet</span>
  </em>
  <span> was terrifying and he could still tell Gonta felt incredibly bad about it, but just being around the larger boy made him feel less anxious when thinking about bugs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like, when he would go on rants about a certain insect, it sort of tamed Shuichi’s idea of how bugs really were. Even now, he wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>as afraid</span>
  </em>
  <span> as he used to be staring up at the spider from the corner of his eye.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why Shuichi come here?” Gokuhara suddenly asked. Shuichi turned his full attention towards him. The other crossed his arms, adding on, “Gonta thought Shuichi was going to get some sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The detective made a small, “Oh, right—” and fetched the ladybug brooch from the inside of his pocket. He held it out to Gonta, who stared at it with wide eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I, uh, got this from the casino,” he began explaining, rubbing the back of his neck again and feeling just how warm it had gotten. “It reminded me of you, so I wanted to… ah, give it to… you…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Internally, he was slapping himself across the face. His anxiety had gotten the best of him and he almost fumbled over his own words! He could die of embarrassment right now if he wanted to!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With very careful fingers, the entomologist took the brooch from Shuichi’s hands. Shuichi tried to ignore how rough his fingers felt against his palm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is for Gonta?” he asked genuinely while his fingers traced over the small black dots on it. It looked like a real ladybug, just a bit bigger. The dark-haired boy nodded. “Yeah, I got it just for you, Gonta.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He watched as Gokuhara used the dim light to his advantage, turning his body towards the large television to pin the brooch onto his lapel. He admired it for a second before looking back at Shuichi and surprising him with a hug.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you so much!” Gonta held onto Shuichi’s body gently despite how much passion he seemed to be filled with. “Gonta so thankful! Thank you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt like Saihara’s body was on fire. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt incredibly relieved that Gonta liked the brooch, but more importantly his brain was trying to make sense of the fact that Gonta was hugging him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tried to wrap his arms around the other’s back but couldn’t considering his size. “You’re welcome, Gonta,” he closed his eyes. “I’m glad you like it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonta not just like it, he love it!” the other pulled away from the hug and smiled wide, his eyes closing and the bridge of his nose wrinkling. It was a very lovely smile that gave Shuichi butterflies. “Gonta loves it so much! Thank you so much, Shuichi!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve thanked me a lot…” the detective mumbled under his breath. There was no ill will behind it, it was just an observation he had. “But you’re welcome again, Gonta.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gradually, the two of them focused back on the television, but Gonta occasionally looked down at his lapel and thumbed over the ladybug with a gentle grin on his face. He seemed very happy to have received such a small gift and Saihara wasn’t completely sure why.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had given him multiple gifts before and Gonta had reacted with extreme gratitude (maybe because he hadn’t ever gotten gifts in his early childhood, being raised by wolves and all), but never to this extent. Shuichi assumed it was a good thing though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now that he thought about it, maybe it was because there weren’t many bugs here. Or maybe there was a different reason that Shuichi wasn’t even considering. He shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything was fine until a graphic scene showed up on the screen; it was that of a huge spider catching a caterpillar in its web and eating it. Gonta didn’t seem to mind it since he was used to such a thing, but Saihara had to physically turn away from it. He looked over at Gonta and decided to start up some conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Since they were watching a movie about insects, which was something that related directly to Gokuhara’s talent, Shuichi decided to talk about that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t know how to start, so he simply began with, “Gonta,” and quickly found his way. “You really are impressive, you know that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entomologist whipped his head around to look at the shorter boy and then quickly looked away, staring down at the floor with a blush across his cheeks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“G-Gonta nothing special. Gonta just listen to what bugs say…” he quietly replied. Shuichi snickered. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He’s always so humble</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the detective was telling the truth, Gonta really </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> impressive! Sure, he discovered new insect species, but he also developed cultivation methods which had helped thousands of people across the world. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Speaking of helping people, he also discovered a parasitic worm that was causing disease and was dubbed a hero. He’s helped so many people, all across the world, and it amazed Shuichi. The thought of even being able to do something like that left Shuichi in a good kind of shock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve saved </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>many lives, Gonta.” he spoke honestly. He watched as the wild-haired boy looked back down at him with a smile on his face. Did he ever not smile? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He pressed a fist to his chest, right above his heart. “Yes, but gentlemen supposed to help people!” he cheerfully continued, “Gonta gotta work even harder to become true gentleman.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There it was again. Saihara’s grin lowered a bit at the talk of becoming a gentleman but only because he was confused by it. Gonta constantly talked about how he wanted to be more gentlemanly and Shuichi knew why—to prove to both his woodland and human family that he can still be polite and refined even after living in the forest for a decade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he supposed it made sense, after all, he couldn’t relate to living in the forest for an entire decade. But in a way he understood the reasoning behind it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Gonta was already polite and kind… not quite refined or earnest, but he was honest and sweet and very, </span>
  <em>
    <span>very </span>
  </em>
  <span>smart. In Saihara’s mind, that was enough to be a gentleman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know, Gonta, you say that, but…” Shuichi hummed and thought of what to say next, trying to be thoughtful with his words. “I know how truly amazing you are. I don’t… think you need to work so hard to be a gentleman. You’re already incredible!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta’s expression suddenly dropped and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “But, Shuichi! Gonta must become a gentleman! For forest family!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The reason you developed your Ultimate Entomologist talent was </span>
  <em>
    <span>because</span>
  </em>
  <span> your forest family taught you so much about insects and animals, right?” Shuichi asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta nodded slowly. “Yes, that right…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At that, Saihara’s lips curled up into a small grin. “So you should be proud of that, Gonta. No matter what anyone says!” he glanced down at the taller boy’s label before looking back up into his eyes. “Your forest family helped you develop into the talented man you are today!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta pondered what Shuichi had just said, crossing his arms and staring absentmindedly at the couch cushion between them. Shuichi assumed he must’ve been thinking really hard.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Saihara leaned in just barely as Gonta opened his mouth then quickly shut it, opening it again and looking at the other before asking, “That all Gonta need…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The detective chuckled. “That’s plenty, Gonta. From now on—” he resisted the urge to grab ahold of the other boy’s hand. “As long as you work hard as the Ultimate Entomologist, your family will accept you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The confusion that was shown clearly on Gonta’s face was swiftly erased, instead replaced by doubt. He lowered his head solemnly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But… Gonta no help to anyone right now,” he retorted. He said it in a way as if he was stating a fact; like that was the undeniable truth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi looked at him as if he had three eyes. “You are! You </span>
  <em>
    <span>saved me before</span>
  </em>
  <span>, remember? I almost fell down the staircase!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The red-eyed boy jumped in place. He exclaimed a short, “Oh!” as though he hadn’t remembered that at all. To be honest, the more Shuichi thought about how he was pressed up against the boy when he was saved by him, the more warm his face felt. He shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonta… you're a more amazing person than you think you are.” He stated confidently, reaching over and placing his hand gently atop the entomologist’s own. Gonta immediately stared down at their hands and began to tear up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi felt the hand below his tremble, and when he glanced up at Gonta he noticed that tears were falling freely down his cheeks. Startled, he pulled his hand away quickly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sh-Shuichi!” Gonta wiped at his eyes. His glasses were pushed up and he sobbed audibly for a minute, obviously touched by what Shuichi had told him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slowly began to calm down, breathing a bit deeper because of how much he cried. Shuichi was rightfully concerned but figured that everything was okay. Gonta’s shoulders rose and he gazed at Shuichi with determined eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Shuichi! Gonta’s eyes open now!” his voice was raspy from sobbing. “Gonta understand! Gonta learn from you… Gonta gonna get even better at talent he got from forest family!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He exhaled shakily, and Saihara could tell that he was feeling much better after crying. Shuichi opened his mouth to reply but Gonta cut him off, quickly adding, “But… Gonta still gonna try to become gentleman.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Surprised, Shuichi furrowed his eyebrows. “Why…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta grinned and placed his hand back on his chest. “At first, Gonta do it for forest family…” he spoke. Then, his cheeks flushed and he glanced at the television for a moment then back at the boy in front of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But Gonta just wanna be gentleman,” he answered simply. Shuichi could tell there was something more but he wasn’t exactly sure what. “Gonta wanna be nice, serious, refined, polite gentleman! </span>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> Gonta’s goal now!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The dark-haired boy smiled, his expression softening and his eyes crinkling at the corners. “I see… then I think that’s a great goal to have.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Great was an understatement. He thought it was a wonderful goal but wasn’t sure how to express that—he wasn’t really good with words, anyway. The fact that Gonta just wanted to be a gentleman for </span>
  <em>
    <span>himself</span>
  </em>
  <span> made Shuichi’s heart soar. It made him happy for the other boy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entomologist excitedly began to gently hit his fist against his chest repeatedly, as if recreating the sound of his own heartbeat. “Yeah! Gonta work hard to reach goal!” he firmly nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Saihara chuckled to himself and let his body relax against the sofa. It felt nice talking to Gonta so casually in such a terrible place as this. It was almost as if they were somewhere else entirely—like they weren’t trapped in this horrible school, forced to watch each other suffer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was like they were at home, if such a place even existed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But right now, Shuichi couldn’t focus on everything bad happening with them. All he could focus on was the present; all he could focus on was how pretty Gonta looked in low light, how happy he was and how nice his voice sounded when he spoke. He could only focus on Gonta.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could only watch as the boy’s expression softened and he looked at him in the eyes, a small grin tugging on his lips. Sincerely, he spoke, “Thank you so much, Shuichi. Gonta understand a lot more cause of you,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi nodded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonta glad he meet Shuichi.” Gonta said truthfully, not even noticing how impactful his words were to Shuichi.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The detective froze up at that. He felt his eyes and the back of his throat begin to burn with an all-too-familiar feeling. Shuichi physically restrained himself from crying, pressing his right hand against his throat as if to hold it back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other didn’t seem to notice. He continued speaking. “From now on, Gonta keep you and everyone else safe… like true gentleman!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi removed his hand from his throat and almost gasped when Gonta took it and held it in his hands. Somehow, the two of them were closer than before, and Shuichi feared that Gonta would hear how fast his heart was racing in his chest. His face was getting warmer and warmer the more he realized their situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Th-Thank you, Gonta…” he mumbled under his breath. Gonta’s hands were much larger than his, and his palms were rough and scarred from years of living in the forest. Shuichi’s thumb traced along a particularly deep scar that must’ve gone across Gonta’s whole palm. The entomologist noticed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Carefully, Gonta let go of Shuichi’s hand. Instead, he held out his left hand and let the dark-haired boy trace the scar. Shuichi figured that he came off as curious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonta got this from man in forest,” his voice was much softer as he began to speak. “He had huge knife and slashed through Gonta’s whole hand! But not deep enough to </span>
  <em>
    <span>completely</span>
  </em>
  <span> go through,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?” Shuichi drew his hand away as if he were burned, startled by the story Gonta had just told. “Ah, I’m sorry… I didn’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The taller boy shook his head frantically. “No, is okay! It not hurt anymore, is completely healed!” he smiled. Shuichi took his word for it and very carefully set his hand back in Gonta’s own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He traced along another one, though it was much smaller. Gonta leaned in to see it clearly and perked up. “Oh! That one from baby pup! She very playful when small, so she scratch Gonta’s palm!” he laughed. Shuichi grinned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Saihara ran his thumb along a scar that ran from Gonta’s right index finger to the back of his hand. Gonta casually said, “Trouble with bear,” Shuichi looked up at him and he quickly added, “But made friends after! Bear was very kind.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The detective chuckled. “You have so many stories to share, Gonta,” he commented. “You’re so amazing. Every single part of you is amazing.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It took Shuichi a lot of guts to say that but he was glad he said it. He noticed how flushed Gonta had become and how his hand twitched in his own. “N-No… is just Gonta surviving, that’s how he got so many stories…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s enough to be amazing,” Shuichi squeezed the bigger boy’s hand. “You’re so strong, Gonta.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entomologist must not have been used to being complimented all the time, and it showed in the way he used his free hand to try and shield his face away from Shuichi’s vision. It showed in the way he let out an audible growl, which surprised Saihara at first. But it must’ve been his way of showing he was happy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sh-Shuichi very polite…” the flustered boy managed to say. “Gonta’s very happy to be with Shuichi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m happy to be with you, too, Gonta,” Shuichi smiled. With a sudden boost in confidence, Shuichi asked shortly after, “Can I see your hand for a second?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta willingly dropped his hand from his face and placed it in Shuichi’s free hand. Then, Shuichi bent down and pressed his lips against both of the entomologist’s scarred hands. It was a way to show how thankful he was to be with him, but in Gonta’s eyes it was much more than that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The red-eyed boy jumped in place once more and struggled to find his voice as Shuichi repositioned both their hands to where they were being interlocked together. Shuichi squeezed both his hands gently and could no longer ignore how hot his face was getting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this okay?” he asked, his sudden boost of confidence slipping away as quickly as it came. The boy across from him nodded and was able to find his voice again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is nice,” Gonta spoke in a whisper. He squeezed Shuichi’s hands in return and moved a bit closer to him. Shuichi noticed and tried to stop his heart from bursting out of his chest. “Gonta… like this very much…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi looked down at their hands. “Y-Yeah… I’m glad you like it,” he stuttered out. “Can we stay like this?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta mumbled a small, “Yes,” before the room went silent, the only other sound coming from the television. That suddenly reminded Saihara that there was a movie playing, but he didn’t care about it right now. All he cared about was how nice it felt to hold Gonta’s hands like this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>While the detective held onto the other’s hands, his mind started to wander to all the things he liked about Gonta, and the more he thought about it all the more he tried to bury his face in his uniform jacket but couldn’t. All he could do was sit and stare at their interlocked hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sudden mental image of cupping Gonta’s cheeks together and kissing him somehow found its way into his thought process and he almost fainted. His hands began to shake and his ears felt like they were burning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that’s when it finally set in how close he was to Gonta and how they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally holding hands</span>
  </em>
  <span>, all alone in the A/V room. He finally realized how romantic the atmosphere was getting and felt his skin crawl. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he spared a glance up at the taller boy, he noticed that Gonta wasn’t looking at their hands but rather at Shuichi. He quickly swung his head to the side to look at the television instead once he saw that he’d been caught staring, though. Shuichi snickered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry!” the entomologist apologized loudly, looking back down at the other. His grip on the boy’s hands tightened slightly. “Gonta know it rude to stare!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi shook his head and looked up at Gonta properly. “It’s alright, I don’t mind at all,” he half-lied. In truth, he didn’t like being stared at because it made him feel as if he was doing something wrong, but when it's Gonta in </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> scenario, it was okay.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta sighed, relieved, and smiled for the thousandth time that night. “Thank you again, Shuichi. Gonta grateful for everything you’ve done with him!” he thanked genuinely. Shuichi lowered their hands and grinned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>For the first time in a while, Saihara felt happy. He felt as though nothing bad would happen after this and that there was hope for the future. There was definitely a way to get out of here, especially since they were close to finding out just what was going on here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m grateful for you, too, Gonta,” he said softly as he rubbed his thumb over Gonta’s scarred knuckles. He looked over at the bug documentary and continued, “If anything, I’m more than grateful. I’m… happy that I’m able to be so close to you and can just talk to you without having to worry about anything,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep breath and continued, absentmindedly playing with Gonta’s hands. “Being able to be your… friend, makes me so happy, you know? I love you so much a-and seeing you smile and laugh makes </span>
  <em>
    <span>me</span>
  </em>
  <span> want to smile and laugh, too. I’m so glad I got to meet you, Gonta, and I’m so thankful that I got to fall in love with…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused. What was he saying? Did he really just say all of that stuff out loud or was it in his head? He thought he was rehearsing mentally. Did Gonta hear all of that? </span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Immediately, he turned his head to see Gonta staring at him with a baffled expression. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open, his hands going still in his grip. Shuichi could tell that his cheeks were red, even in the dark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I—ah,” Shuichi fumbled over his words. He pulled his hands away from Gonta’s and backed up against the end of the sofa, heart practically about to burst out. “I didn’t… mean to say that…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The wild-haired boy seemed to come back to his senses. He briefly looked down at his hands and then back up at the other, knitting his brows in confusion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuichi… loves Gonta?” he spoke slowly, like he was trying to make sense of it himself. “Like, um, more than friend?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now Saihara realized how badly he screwed up. He could lie and say </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he didn’t love Gonta like that, or he could tell the truth and say </span>
  <em>
    <span>yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>love Gonta like that. He didn’t know the outcome for either, which was something he wasn’t used to. It made him panic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt the back of his throat become sore. “I…” he tried forming words to no avail. He felt tears leak from the corners of his eyes and tried to wipe them away without the love of his life noticing but it didn’t work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuichi?!” Gonta crawled forward, frantically trying to think of how to help. “Is Shuichi okay? You no need to answer love question,” he spoke swiftly and tried to brush the boy’s tears away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With Gonta so close, Shuichi only felt more tears escape from his eyes. He wasn’t sure what to do, especially since he just confessed his love to Gonta and felt like the A/V room was the entire world right now. His brain kept telling him that he was okay but he obviously wasn’t, he was thinking of how ridiculous he was for saying all of that aloud.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The feeling of Gonta’s hands cupping his face seemed to calm him down a little. He heard choked sobs leaving his own throat and firmy shut his mouth so it’d stop. It didn’t work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All he could say was, “I’m sorry.” to Gonta. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuichi not need to apologize,” he assured him softly. “Is okay to cry. Nothing bad about it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entomologist wiped the tears falling off of Shuichi’s cheeks with his thumb, backing up to get some distance between them that he figured the other needed. Saihara took a few shaky breaths all while leaning into Gonta’s touch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… didn’t mean to say… any of that,” he repeated. Gonta listened. “But i-it’s the truth. Everything I said was true.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi feared the truth. He never </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>fear the truth. It terrified him beyond belief sometimes, and this was one of those cases where it scared him a lot; but he didn’t know the outcome of the truth. He wasn’t sure what it would lead him to. He shut his eyes tightly to prevent his tears from overflowing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even if he was sobbing, Gonta still cupped his cheeks gently and continued to wipe away the tears. Shuichi opened his eyes just barely. “I’m so sorry for… ruining this—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shuichi not ruin anything!” the boy in front of him denied. “There nothing that been ruined.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There has!” Shuichi objected, trying to sit up. “I-I ruined our… friendship… and I ruined the m-moment,” he began rambling. He managed to sit up by himself and Gonta adjusted himself so that his hands fit more comfortably on the dark-haired boy’s face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta frowned. “Shuichi not ruin friendship or moment,” he said softly. “All Shuichi do was tell truth, is all!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The shorter boy tilted his head up towards Gonta. He wasn’t sure if Gonta knew how much he loved him or if he was purposely avoiding the subject to make him feel better, but Shuichi didn’t mind either way. Not at this moment. He sighed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His tears came less frequently now, instead his eyes just felt dry and puffy. He laughed a little at the realization that they’d both cried that night and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. Gonta’s hands helped a lot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a minute or two of silence, the detective brought his hands up and placed them atop Gonta’s own, removing them from his face. He let go and stared down at his lap for a second before confessing about what had just happened.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But first, he apologized. “I’m so sorry, Gonta. For overreacting like that,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta shook his head. “Is okay. Shuichi not overreacting at all—” he paused and looked for the right words. “Is normal to cry! Nothing bad about showing emotions.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>That’s true</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Shuichi thought. He grinned briefly, then replaced it with a slight frown. He wasn’t sure how to say what he wanted to say and it must’ve shown, because the other boy looked at him with eyes full of concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You not need to talk about anything...” he assured, backing up from Shuichi to give him more space. “Not unless you want to!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as Saihara was about to speak, Gonta crossed his arms and cut him off. “But, um, Gonta…” he began and then muttered a few words under his breath. Shuichi didn’t hear him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did you say?” he asked. Gonta sparred a glance down at his lapel, then the television, then his lap, then the television, and then his lapel again. Shuichi could tell he was nervous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slowly spoke, “Gonta, um, feels same way… about Shuichi.” his hands instinctively rested on top of his chest while he continued. “Gonta very happy around Shuichi, too, and even think for a while that—that he, um…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi noticed that Gonta’s hands were beginning to twitch. He moved closer to the other and reached out his own hands but stopped half way, pulling them back. He wanted to help Gonta nonetheless.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonta,” he said. The taller boy startled and stared down at him with wide eyes, hands ceasing to shake. Shuichi wiped at his eyes again; he wasn’t crying but his eyes were kind of puffy from when he was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you,” he said quickly. “A lot. More than a friend, and I was telling the truth when I said all that stuff earlier, and I know I already said that when I was crying but I figured I should say it again so that’s why I said it again. I love you a lot.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was unscripted, yes, and Shuichi tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach. He felt like he was going to faint </span>
  <em>
    <span>for real</span>
  </em>
  <span>, which probably wasn’t good. He could feel the back of his neck getting warm and he tried to hide it with his right hand but the warmth wouldn’t go away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta looked stunned. Shuichi wasn’t sure if it was a good kind of stunned but he knew he looked shocked. The detective looked away from the other’s face and down at the ladybug brooch he had given him earlier. It was the start of all of this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>If he hadn’t gotten that brooch, hadn’t decided to give it to Gonta tonight, hadn’t decided to search for Gonta in the game room, hadn’t accidentally spilled his entire thoughts out—none of this would’ve happened. It seemed unbelievable to think of it like that, but it was true. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi held back a smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonta love Sh-Shuichi, too,” Gonta suddenly blurted out. Saihara snapped his head up and looked at him with wide eyes. He honestly was not expecting Gonta to return his feelings. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bewildered, he asked, “You do?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entomologist nodded and reached for Shuichi’s hands again. He held them in his own and Shuichi thought about how cute Gonta was, then immediately began internally panicking. He looked down at their hands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta continued. “Yes! Gonta think he been in love with Shuichi for </span>
  <em>
    <span>long </span>
  </em>
  <span>time, since Shuichi gave him bunny apples,” he grinned at the memory. “Gonta not sure how to say it, but is true! Gonta love Shuichi very much! Gonta always love Shuichi!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He squeezed Shuichi’s hands and Shuichi could tell he was telling the truth. He really loved Shuichi, and Shuichi really, </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> loved Gonta, too. His face </span>
  <em>
    <span>literally</span>
  </em>
  <span> couldn’t get any hotter than this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi wasn’t sure how to respond to such a confession, and when his brain fully processed the fact that Gonta returned his feelings, a sudden laughing fit bubbled up from inside of him. He began to laugh all while holding tightly onto the taller boy’s hands.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It felt amazing to know that Gonta loved him. It felt amazing to know that they were holding hands in a romantic sense. Shuichi’s eyes shut as his body shook with gleeful laughter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The entomologist looked confused. “Is Shuichi alright? Did Gonta say something silly?” he asked. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi managed to open his left eye, squinting and giggling out, “I’m—just very happy!” he leaned forward and his forehead hit Gonta’s chest. He stayed there, leaning against Gonta for support.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Gonta said. He couldn’t help but smile and let go of Shuichi’s hands, wrapping them around his back. The gesture was returned with shaky hands. The only word that could be used to describe how they both felt, clinging onto each other, was </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘euphoria’</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>With his face out of Gonta’s sight, Shuichi’s sudden burst of confidence came back. He giggled out a sincere, “I love you so much,” while fixing the way he was holding the other. “So, so, so, so much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could feel the hands on his back start to shiver, gently hitting the back of his shirt repeatedly. The detective didn’t mind it at all since he knew it was a way to show how happy the other was. He could feel himself coming down from his high and leaned away from Gonta’s chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi looked up at </span>
  <em>
    <span>his boyfriend </span>
  </em>
  <span>with a big grin. Gonta looked overjoyed and his hands picked up the pace, mimicking his heart beat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Gonta very happy!” he exclaimed as he pulled Shuichi into a hug. “Very, very happy! Gonta love Shuichi so, so much!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two of them stayed like that for a while—just wrapped in each other's arms. The documentary on the television was nearly forgotten, the narrator’s voice not even sounding. It was a sweet silence. Nothing could ruin this moment between them, and that was the truth. They couldn’t hear anything else besides the other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Somewhere in the background, the nighttime announcement must’ve played. Shuichi could tell because he heard the faint sound of the Monokub’s annoying voices. They both ignored it, though. It wouldn’t hurt them, anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though, it did make Shuichi remember how tired he was. He stifled a yawn and moved up closer to Gonta, who in turn adjusted himself so that it was easier for Shuichi to rest his head in the crook of his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were practically laying with each other. Shuichi didn’t mind though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is Shuichi sleepy?” Gonta did his best to try and look over at the other. The detective hummed, “Not at… all…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He heard Gonta laugh softly and buried his face deeper, sighing. He removed his arms from the larger boy’s back and instead wrapped them around his neck. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta mimicked his actions, reaching up to take off his glasses and then setting them down on the floor next to the couch. Then, his body relaxed as he held onto Shuichi’s waist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Quietly, he spoke, “Is okay to fall asleep. Gonta know Shuichi sleepy,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Saihara nodded slowly. “Alright…” he yawned. “Goodnight, Gonta,” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, Shuichi,” the boy below him muttered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I love you.” Shuichi mumbled. His eyelids felt heavy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gonta closed his eyes. “Gonta love you, too.” was the last thing Shuichi heard before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading! i really liked writing this :&gt;</p></blockquote></div></div>
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